Is Your Friend Ruining Your Workout?
Q My friend is ruining my workout. She comes with me, but she always talks and never works out. I don’t want to ruin a great friendship, but I want to get into shape. Help! Name supplied
A Having a workout buddy is usually great, but one does wonder why your friend would accompany you if she is not doing anything herself. Is she just unmotivated, fearful of change, or is she trying to sabotage your efforts because she is threatened in some way? Can you simply ask her straight out why she doesn’t work out also? You must let her know you are serious about getting in shape — in an excited way, not in a condescending manner — and try to encourage her so you both have similar goals to work towards. You must be honest also, and say that you don’t want to appear rude, but that you will need to step up the focus and intensity eventually (and perhaps even listen to upbeat music) and therefore can’t talk as much — but do suggest planning a smoothie or coffee time to talk afterwards like a reward, and so as not to offend her. She will soon have to decide what she wants to do. Maybe you could also have a word to one of the gym staff (if applicable) and ask them to surreptitiously guide her on a personal programme. – MELANIE
Dr Melanie Schlatter
PhD Consultant Health Psychologist. She unblocks those mental hurdles.