Who made the style bank?
I love the Oscars. The glitziest night of the year in Hollywood is always a fashion rollercoaster, showing off a heady mix of the finest and foulest frocks out there. But for some unexplained reason, this year, the Academy Awards red carpet was distinctly lacking in real ‘wow’ moments, and I have to say I’ve left feeling a bit, well, disappointed by not having my sartorial socks blown off.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some gorgeous looking gowns on display. My personal faves? Cameron Diaz, who looked screen goddess perfect in silver embellished Oscar De La Renta, Rachel McAdamsand Anna Kendrick, who both looked stunning in their ethereal chiffon gowns by Elie Saab and the eternally youthful Demi Moore in delishly ruffled blush toned Versace. Hats off too to Zoe Saldana, who managed to pull off a seriously frou frou purple Givenchy number without looking like a toilet roll cover, and Miley Cyrus who, although I hate to say it because she irritates me intensely, looked stunning and delightfully age appropriate in a strapless ballerina gown by Jenny Packham.
However, there was definitely something missing from this year’s red carpet. Not once did my jaw drop in wonder at a work of total frock fabulosity. I was convinced that with so many new fashion starlets making their mark in Hollywood, I was going to have a very bruised chin come Monday night. I was counting too on some of my fave existing celebrity fashion plates - particularly Diane Kruger and Charlize Theron - to fill me with equal amounts of seething envy and total admiration when I saw their outfits. So imagine the disappointment when Diane’s nude ruffled Chanel gown registered little more than ‘slightly warmer than a stone cold cup of tea’ on my fashion thermometer, while the usually flawless Charlize chose a pink Dior gown featuring two seriously misplaced rosettes that were more comical than couture – I’ll leave it up to you to guess where they were.
While my new style crush, Carey Mulligan, took a teeny weeny risk by wearing a cutlery embellished number, I was truly bummed out that A – she’d chosen to wear black, B – she’d opted for Prada, which she wears frequently and C – she’d almost taken Anna Wintour’s advice by going for a gown with an uneven hem that showed off her legs. What happened to all that British ballsiness in claiming that you’d be going full length hon? And why go the safe route with black? Just sooo disappointed she didn’t go for edgy and awesome, like I’d hoped. If only she and Up in the Air’s Vera Farmiga had swapped frocks before they hit the red carpet – Carey would have blown me away in Marchesa’s fuschia pink ruffles, and Vera would have looked so much more at home in something black and more mainstream. Anyway, enough of the ranting. Maybe I’ll suggest I take them shopping for next year’s bash.
Obviously, it wouldn’t be The Oscars without some heinous fashion crimes taking place, and there were plenty of those too. Miley Cyrus’s mum showed up in a gross gold lame number that was only outdone by her rank mermaid hair and nuclear toned tan; Mariah Carey made me wonder why someone with as much cash as her would choose to wear something a blind, bankrupted stripper would have in her wardrobe, while Jennifer Lopez looked like she’d been attacked with bubble wrap and forgotten to do her hair after walking the dog in a force 15 gale.
Here’s hoping for a rather more exciting frock fest next year, eh?