When hot guys turn fugly...

15 Oct 2008
By Ahlanlive.com

From totty to notty – what on earth has happened to Hollywood's fittest men?

That hat is the pitts!

Brad Pitt
Ahh! Brad Pitt. The absolute embodiment of male perfection. From that rippling torso in Fight Club, to the come-to-bed eyes in Meet Joe Black – and don’t even get us started on that Thelma And Louise motel scene. So, who’s this geeky college professor dude on the bike?

Taking it on the chins

Jude Law
The excuse for this awful ‘tache is his upcoming role as Sherlock Holmes’ sidekick Watson – but why is it ginger? And where did that double chin come from? Jude’s barely recognisable from his Mr Ripley peak.

Too much guinness?

Colin Farrell
Eight years have passed since a twinkling-eyed Col skipped onto the Hollywood scene. With pale spotty skin, a questionable beard and a constant might-barf-at-any-moment expression, the artist formerly known as ‘the hottest Irish export since Guinness’ has transformed into the poster boy for AA.

Nice socks, grandpa!

George Clooney
The reason we’ve always swooned over George is that, like a fine wine, he just gets better with age. Sophisticated and distinguished, even a smattering of salt and pepper hair couldn’t deter us. But with that dodgy ‘tache and white sock/sneaker combo (and a distinct lack of Just For Men), we’d have trouble ‘distinguishing’ him from our slightly sporty grandpa.

Surfer to scruff

Matthew McConaughey
The shirtless surfer boy we’ve been drooling over all summer, doesn’t look so smoking now that autumn has kicked in. The chiselled jaw is covered by a Mr Twit beard, the sun-kissed hair is lank and greasy, and it should be illegal to cover a body that hot in country casuals from the Gap. Bring back summer!

Bloated bourne

Matt Damon
We’re not sure how much longer we can stomach Matt Damon walking around like DiCaprio’s lardy twin. Worse still, it looks like he’s been at the Sun-In bottle and everyone knows the two-tone look hasn’t worked since Corey Haim patented it in the 80s. Please sort it out Damo – we miss buff Bourne!

Out with the old…in with the new

Meet the next breed of hotties making us weak at the knees…

Josh Duhamel:
Lucky old Fergie, she’s bagged herself the smart girl’s answer to Brad Pitt. Chiselled looks minus the baggage.

Chase Crawford:
Upper-east side totty at its finest. We’re not only watching Gossip Girl for the outfits, you know.

Wentworth Miller:
Ahh! If convicts on-the-run were this hot, we’d be super-glued to America’s Most Wanted every night!

Scott Speedman:

He played the oh-so-cute fiance of Liv Tyler recently in The Strangers, and we’ve been hooked ever since.

Adrien Grenier:

With eyes that pretty, we’d join his Entourage any day. And he’s recently single (form an orderly queue, ladies!)