As she writhes provocatively dry-humping a sofa, her glossy pout parts and with a sultry groan, she purrs… “I’m farting carrots.” No, wait, what? Needle-off-the-record! Stop. What did you just say, Selena Gomez. You’re farting carrots?!

When Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills – who’s about to visit the UAE – interviewed Selena about her controversial new lyrics in her track Good For You, she didn’t see the funny side. Apparently, the little strumpet is actually singing: “I’m 14 carats.” All we can be sure of is that her new number is comedy gold.