Named and Shamed? Top 25 Bizarre Celeb Baby Names
In Celebville competition is stiff in all aspects of life; every star wants to be higher up the waiting list for the latest Hermes handbag, blood is quite literally spilt in the battle to look younger, fierce negotiations for higher film fees abound and even the bid to have the most bizarrely named baby rages on shamelessly. Well, at least the parents aren’t feeling any shame – we’re not so sure about the kids. Will Bingham Hawn Bellamy ever forgive Kate Hudson and Mathew Bellamy, or will he grow old wishing he was called Brian?
Then there’s Harper Seven Beckham. For an earth-shuddering second there we thought Victoria Beckham and her high-pitched husband were hiding a secret literary appreciation. Could they really have named their daughter after the author of To Kill a Mocking Bird, Pulitizer Prize winner Harper Lee? Er, no. In fact Vic and Dave named their Harper after a character from Wizards Of Waverly Place, a TV show enjoyed by their sons. The Seven part is thought to come from David’s Man U shirt number and the fact that little Harper was born on the seventh hour of the seventh day of the week, in the seventh month of the year, weighing 7lbs. Seven is also said to be a lucky number, and being born to millionaires, Harper could definitely be classed as that.
But what about poor Banjo, Sparrow and Audio Science, and all the other strangely named A-list offspring? Here are our top 25 bizarrely named celebabies and some justifications offered by their “zany” parents...
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence
Sounds like something you’d buy in Molton Brown, but this is in fact the name given to the daughter of the late Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates. ‘Hiraani’ – meaning ‘Princess of the beautiful sky’ – was Michael Hutchence’s favourite Polynesian word, apparently. What’s yours?
Tallulah Belle Willis
Belle means beauty in French, but Bruce Willis and Demi Moore gave no explanation for ‘Tallulah’. Perhaps they were fans of Jodie Foster’s pivotal role as child escort Tallulah in the film Bugsy Malone... but one would hope note.
Bronx Mowgli Wentz
To most people the Bronx is the area in New York in which you’d better keep an eye on your handbang/Manolos/Nike Airs, depending on your fashion persuasion and that of your potential muggers, but to Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz it was just an idea... “We came up with the idea Bronx. We’ve been throwing [ideas] back and forth a while,” said Pete. Bronx may think it’s a shame they didn’t throw further. Mowgli is a character from Disney’s Jungle Book, which was something that Pete and Ashlee bonded over.
Aurelius Cy Andrea Busson
Elle Macpherson and Arpad Busson came up with as many clever-sounding names as they could think of but didn’t give any clever explanations for their decisions. Perhaps Aurelius is an amalgamation of Arpad and Elle, and with parents’ names like that what did you expect?
Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
It might be your favourite Asian restaurant, but to Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale Zuma is the name of their son, said to be named after Malibu’s Zuma beach were Gav had a special lightbulb moment regarding his career. Give up and let your wife earn the wonga?
Kyd Miller Duchovny
Once upon a time two celebrities David Duchovny and Téa Leoni had a kid and though they racked and racked their brains they just couldn’t think what to call it, and then it came to them. “Hey, I know why don’t we call it kid, but change the ‘i’ to a ‘y’?!” At least we’re guessing that’s how the convo went. Kyd consequently decided to go by the name Miller. Wise choice, Kyd.
Liam Gallagher always wanted to be the next John Lennon, but he was never cool enough no matter how hard he tried, so he named his son Lennon in the hope that he would be like the late Beatle. Alas, as even John Lennon’s own son wasn’t a patch on the legend, the Gallaghers have no hope. Mum Patsy Kensit should have pointed that out, before her poor nipper was given the biggest name in music history to live up.
Top marks would have gone to Motown’s royalty Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Oaziaza for the best play on words ever for Jermajesty (Her Majesty – geddit?) if only Jermajesty had been a girl. We’re not quite sure it works on a guy...
Fifi Trixibelle Geldof
Brit TV presenter Paula Yates was a fan of fanciful names – she also mothered Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily with Michael Hutchence and with Bob Geldof she had Peaches, giving a whole new spin to the term ‘fruit of her loins’.
Bluebell Madonna Halliwell
"The bluebell is increasingly rare, so it's a precious flower, which seems just right for my daughter," said ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, who had her daughter with Sacha Gervasi. We love the name, but Madonna? We can imagine the embarrassing middle name conversation being played out from the playground to the passport office.
Nahla Ariela Aubry
Nahla means honeybee in Arabic, so we’re wondering whether Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry have Middle Eastern connections and a penchant for honey? Either way, it’s very sweet.
FYI Kal-El is Superman’s Kryptonite name, so we’re guessing that Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim share a love of DC Comics as well as a son. Let’s hope he doesn’t start wearing his Y-fronts over his trousers.
Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt
We’ve spent so many hours talking about Shiloh at Ahlan! Towers that her name almost seems run-of-the-mill. But, of course, nothing in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s life is. Ange once spilled that Shiloh was the name her parents had planned to give their first child, but her mother miscarried, so Ange resurrected the name in her own child. Somewhat less chilling, Brad Pitt’s favourite architect Jean Nouvel provided inspiration for the middle name.
Phinnaeus Walter Moder
Sounds like the sort of crazy dude who would travel the world in 80 days and then set up a chocolate factory. Julia Roberts and Daniel Moder obviously have a passion for the past, which is where this name is from, but so long as Phinnaeus can laugh at himself like his mum or push the abbreviation “Finn” he should be OK... We hope...
Ignatius Martin Upton
Ignatius, brother to Dashiell and Roman, is from a family of curiously named boys. The culprit parents? Cate Blanchett and Martin Upton.
Reiley Dilys Stella Willis
Stella McCartney and Alasdhair Willis are the proud parents of Reiley Dilys Stella Willis. Obviously Stella likes to rhyme just like her dad...
Whacky Brit chat show host Jonathan Ross and his flame-haired wife Jane Goldman love 1950s pin-up Bettie Page. They perhaps should have stopped short of Kitten, but with a sister called Honey Kinney to stick up for her, maybe Betty will be OK...
Cosima Violet Vaughn Drummond
Spot the fan of alliteration: Claudia Schiffer’s brood includes Cosima, Caspar and Clementine. We bet Dad Matthew Vaughn has fun calling for his family after a few beverages...
Hopper Jack Penn
Sean Penn and Robin Wright named their son after famous family friends Dennis Hopper and Jack Nicholson. If only they re-ordered it to Jack Hopper Penn they would have been the only A-listers in T’Town to christen a child with a normal name. So close, guys, and yet so far.
Ever Gabo Anderson
Model-turned actress Milla Jovovich and Paul Anderson came up with this name and here’s why: Ever is apparently Scottish lad’s name and Paul has a bit of Scottish blood in him; the middle name is a mixture of Milla parent’s names, Galina and Bogie. Well, at least they didn’t name their nipper after Bogie.
Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee
Jason Lee (of My Name Is Earl fame) and his other half Beth Riesgraf always dreamed giving birth to a pilot, and so they did! In fact, the reality is far stranger, as is often the case in T’Town; the couple apparently picked this name after hearing indie rock band Grandaddy sing He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s The Pilot.
Apple Blythe Alison Martin
Wanting to keep the doctor away Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin went a bit fruity over their baby-naming. “It sounded so sweet and it conjured such a lovely picture for me – you know, apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical,” said Gwynie.
Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver
Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver and wife Jools wanted to make sure everyone called their kid nice names in the playground – what better than ‘Buddy’ to fulfil the purpose? (Popular-Attractive-With-a-Good-Sense-of-Humour-Oliver couldn’t quite fit on the birth certificate.)
Sparrow James Midnight Madden
Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have a lot of explaining to do, so we’ll let them tell you in their own words why they decided to call their son Sparrow! "Sparrow was one we both liked," said Nicole, while Joel added, “My worry raising a son in Hollywood is what will he have to struggle for? I wanted to give him a name that he’s going to have to stand up for.” We think you’ve succeeded, Joel.
Brothers & Sisters star Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor named the fruit of their loins Banjo - Banjo! - after the Australian poet, journalist and storyteller Banjo AB Paterson who wrote the song Waltzing Matilda. At least that’s their excuse and they’re sticking to it.