Here at Ahlan!, we want Lindsay Lohan’s life as a train wreck to change course as much as anyone, and we’re pleased that the Saviour of Hollywood, aka Oprah, has decided to make Lindsay her latest project. We especially can’t wait to see Lindsay’s eight-part documentary, Lindsay’s Next Chapter, appearing on Oprah’s TV network, OWN. But the recent Twittaffair between them – an adulating exchange of positivity and prose about where it all went wrong for the child star – has made us feel a tad nauseous. If you missed it, here’s an extract. Oprah: “@LindsayLohan. Still can’t imagine that much money and no guidance. Of course you’d lose your mind!” LiLo: “@Oprah. Like a kid in a candy store, but no one to really tell me when to stop snacking...” Oprah: “20’s are about figuring out who you are. Hard to do with millions of dollars clouding the picture.” Yes, life is so hard with millions of dollars hanging about, hand it over to Team Ahlan! and we’ll dispose of all that nasty money for you. We’re kind-hearted like that – move over, Oprah.