Celebrity Divorces 101

23 Nov 2011
By Ahlanlive.com

Radio 2's Kenny and Accalia wonder why so many celeb marriages don’t even last as long as the courtship...

Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries wasn’t the first celebrity marriage with a really short shelf-life, and it definitely won’t be the last. Are most marriages involving the rich and the famous doomed to fail? Do they involve real feelings or are they, more often than not, just high-profile publicity stunts? Radio 2’s Kenny and Accalia try to find the answers.

She says: It's a wonder that anyone in the celeb world actually chooses to get married, as not a week goes by without news of yet another divorce surrounded by the high drama of massive settlements, public rows and accusations. Cynicism aside, there are celebrity relationships that have bucked the trend and gone the distance. Take one of the most famous marriages in Hollywood, that of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. They married in 1958 and celebrated their golden anniversary in January 2008. Kirk Douglas and his wife Anne Buydens have been married for 57 years, while Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have been together for 29.  But those are the exceptions to the rule. These days, it is not unusual for celeb courtships to last longer than the actual marriage. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries dated for eight months - that’s six months longer than their doomed marriage lasted. Kim, when interviewed on Australian Television, said that ‘intuition’ led her to end the 72-day-old marriage. It's a shame that her ‘intuition’ didn't kick in before the million-dollar highly publicised ceremony in front of 500 guests, which was televised on E! in a two-day special.

They aren't the first celebrity newlyweds to split so soon after walking down the aisle. Less than 55 hours after tying the knot with childhood friend Jason Alexander in Las Vegas, Britney Spears' lawyers filed for an annulment. Zsa Zsa Gabor married her eighth husband Felipe De Alba before her divorce from seventh husband Michael O'Hara was finalised. The marriage was annulled the next day. They didn't make it to the altar for a second attempt as Gabor told a newspaper at the time that he bored her. But the 'blink-and-you’ll-miss-‘em' celebrity marriage title has to go to Mike Tyson's ex-wife Robin Givens who married her tennis instructor Svetozar Marinkovic in 1997. They separated the same day! The duo filed for divorce a month after, but Givens’ ex tennis instructor later told reporters that the marriage lasted seven minutes. It makes Kris and Kim’s 72 days of wedded bliss look positively enduring in comparison. The words of American comic Rodney Dangerfield, who was married three times, twice to the same woman, come to mind, "We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."

He says: On Breakfast with Kenny and Accalia we talked about how Kris and Kim were in good company when it came to short show biz unions. Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito, Colin Farrell and Amelia Warner, and Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd all only lasted four months.  There are a handful of celebs that beat them though.  Remember Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds? They lasted for two weeks. Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman were able to make it work for six days. 

Back to Kim and Kris - wasn't it obvious that their marriage was a shameless (yet brilliant) PR stunt? We knew it was a sham just by looking at the reason that Kim gave for the split. She said she simply didn’t have time for her marriage and all the ‘famous person stuff’ she has to do. I think the legal terminology for ‘famous person stuff’ is Irreconcilable Differences.

Since the split, the grieving star has ditched the ring, hit a Hollywood costume party, been acting in a new Tyler Perry flick and even launched her new line of handbags in Australia.  I don't know how Kim has managed to keep her chin up though all this - perhaps she's got it propped up on the stacks of cash she's raked in following this well-crafted publicity stunt.  Before you shed a tear for the reality TV star, know that she made just under $250,000 a day, and over $10,000 an hour, for her marriage!

Marriage is supposed to be for keeps but these celebrities are making a mockery of it. What happened to ‘for richer or poorer’ or ‘in sickness and in health’ and ‘till death do us part’?  The words ‘they lived happily ever after’ don’t make headlines. Drama is what people want to see.  Perhaps we are to blame for these types of stunts because we eat it up and come back for seconds, even thirds.

Tune in to Breakfast with Kenny & Accalia weekdays 6am to 10am on 99.3 Dubai and 106 Abu Dhabi Radio 2.

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