Can Exes Be Friends?

Justin and Cameron Diaz have remained best buddies after ending their long-term relationship, and what's wrong with that, asks Paul Fletcher
Tuesday , 03 May 2011
Can Exes Be Friends?
Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz

I take pride in the fact that I’m friends with my exes. After all, if I've turned a horrible situation into something better for everyone, doesn’t that make me a stand-up guy? I’ve never understood why a woman fears a man’s ex. She should feel reassured that none of his past conquests have decided to make voodoo doll versions of him, but actually want to keep him as a friend.

Men are proud to count exes as mates and, the minute you say he can’t see an ex, I can assure you he’ll feel like you’re trying to control him.

One of the things I love about my girlfriend is her lack of jealousy. I regularly meet up with my ex, and I know she doesn’t mind, because she trusts me – and that means a lot more to guys than they will ever tell you.

Now, like all things, boundaries must be set. Meeting an ex for the odd lunch is one thing, but her dropping by his fl at because she ‘happened to be in the neighbourhood’ is another thing entirely. If this happens then you’re within your rights to tell your partner that you’re beginning to feel like the third wheel.

No guy wants to make his current girlfriend feel sidelined and he’ll appreciate your honesty.

So, in the words of the late, great Yoda (my personal life manager) ‘anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny’. In other words, relax and trust your guy or it’ll ruin both of you.