R-Patz

Ahlan! Hates: R-Patz’s ‘Don’t Fancy Me’ Approach

18 Nov 2009
By Ahlanlive.com

Fine, we get that you’re bored of being the finest bit of crumpet in the world right now, Mr Pattinson

Why? Fine, we get that you’re bored of being the finest bit of crumpet in the world right now, Mr Pattinson. But your stinky revelations, although transparently designed to try and put off womankind, have actually crossed the fine line between ‘Awww, he just needs a good woman to take care of him’ and ‘Please amputate my nose’.

“It gets to the point where even I can’t stand the air around me,” spilled Rob. “My personal hygiene – it’s so disgusting! Really, it’s that I’m travelling all the time so I can’t really get any more clothes.”

Look, if you want us to start un-fancying you, just say so Rob. But this actually makes us want to round up the local villagers and torch your black death-infested suitcase!