Poor old Pete. Obscurity one day, launching your own fragrance the next...

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08 Nov 2009
By Ahlanlive.com

As the Jordan vs Peter (bore) war rumbles on, we are still being bombarded with a new and unnecessary pearl of ‘too-much-information' wisdom almost on a daily basis.

This week, the artist formerly known as Price revealed she terminated a pregnancy while she was married to Mr Insania.

"I've lost quite a few babies with Pete and I've had to have terminations with Pete."

Gee, thanks for that.

And now, in the interests of keeping the tit-for-tat cogs turning, (Saint) Peter has been 'forced' to speak out about his ‘agony' at her revelations.

"It's terrible she feels the need to talk about this so publicly," a ‘source close to Peter' wails.

"It drags up a whole lot of emotions for Pete when he just wants to move on. Pete keeps thinking about those lost children. Everyone knows how much he loves kids."

*Sniff*

Prissy Peter's PR machine appears to have rolled straight out of the School of Smoke and Mirrors, having managed to convince the world that he's ‘kept a dignified silence'.

Say what?

That might be easy to swallow (if you're his mum), ‘cept o'course, for that weekly column in UK gossip rag ‘New' which is invariably loaded with Jordan-related bile masquerading as Andre-Flava'd self-defence.

And as for his attempt at contender for ‘Dad of the Year'. Really? Call me a skeptic, but those ‘candid' pictures of Peter in the park with his kids giving them a whiff of his new (£3million-deal) fragrance, ain't exactly my idea of quality daddy-time.

While KP's vulgar blow-by-blow account of the most intimate details of their pretend marriage are about as appealing as witnessing Susan Boyle's inaugural bikini wax, I can't help but think if Jordan/Katie - whoever she is - engaged her brain in first gear and stopped her mouth from going 90mph, she might actually come out of this the winner (ok, well, less detestable at least).

Let's face it, despite his ‘woe-is-me' act, Pete hasn't done to badly out of the Katie-Peter franchise..., sorry ‘marriage'.

One stint on a reality TV programme and voila; A (ten times more famous) wife, three (ridiculously named) kids, a revamped career, a personalised aftershave and a few million in the bank later....

Yet still his ‘aides' insist: "Reading this interview made him question how he could have got together with Jordan in the first place."

Pete, give me a call if you need reminding. I can think of a few reasons...