21 Relationship Rules According to Him

Fancy pants, speed-styling and staying away from their plates. Here’s what kind of life we’d be living if guys ruled the world
Thursday , 14 July 2011
21 Relationship Rules According to Him
According to him

Rule 1
During films, football matches and our favourite television shows, chitchat should be kept to an absolute minimum. Only refer to me during commercial breaks and keep the conversation topics simple. Anything relationship-based is strictly prohibited.  Benjamin, 20

Rule 2
No whining, crying or eating my brains if I miss your call or forget to call you back. Sometimes, men just don’t think. And the football was on.   Omar, 22

Rule 3
Please do not ask my opinion if you’ve already made up your mind about the topic we’re discussing. Chris, 35

Rule 4
No make-up days, at least three times a week, are mandatory. Yes, you look hot when made-up, but we love you looking natural.     Siddharth, 30

Rule 5
Angelina Jolie has an army of stylists, beauticians and multi-tasking minions on hand 24 hours a day to make her look fabulous. So when you ask me, ‘Am I hotter than Angelina?’ don’t expect an honest answer.   Bert, 31

Rule 6
Don’t tell us it’s cool for us to go out on a boys’ night if you’re going to get cross when we stumble home at 2am and fall asleep in nothing but our socks and shoes.     Oliver, 29

Rule 7
Never question me about the amount of beers I’ve consumed on a night out. I’ll be lying. You’ll be miffed.       Zak, 25

Rule 8
Getting ready for a night out should have a 30-minute time limit. Move it or lose it. Arcan, 24

Rule 9
If you can’t make your point in five minutes, stop talking. In fact, stop talking after five minutes no matter what. There’s only so much our brains can take.    Sid, 30

Rule 10
When I’m out with my mates, kindly refrain from phoning, texting or communicating in anyway – that includes Morse code and message pigeons.    James, 32

Rule 11
Do not begin one of your ‘He said, she said…’ tales just as I am about to go to sleep, step into the shower, or open a book. I really won’t be listening.  Matt, 31

Rule 12
Whenever a woman asks a man out, they must choose the location. I’m tired of ‘But where do you want to go?’ conversations, only to pick a place that you complain about endlessly.  Nick, 30

Rule 13
Due to ever-changing fashion trends, the question ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ is forever forbidden. After all, it’s not necessarily a bad thing if your behind does look on the large side… Aaron, 35

Rule 14
If we’re out at dinner and you order salad, soup, or forgo dessert, this does not entitle you to ask for, or take a share of, the food that I’ve ordered.     Phil, 29

Rule 15
Under no circumstances (even if we’re lost in Outer Mongolia), are you to assist with map reading. Literally and metaphorically, it will be a road to nowhere. Understand?   Nicolai, 30

Rule 16
We can go shopping together, but only if you buy something. Oh and, FYI, buying something non-clothing related doesn’t count. While you say you’re fine going home empty handed, we both know that, once home, a post-empty-shopping-bag strop will occur.       Marc, 33

Rule 17
You are only permitted to own 10 pairs of shoes at any one time. And that includes slippers and flip flops. Shawn, 28

Rule 18
‘OMG!’ ‘FYI!’ ‘LOL’ and pretty much any other acronym you’ve ever heard on the E! Channel should have no place on Facebook, Twitter or any other social networking site for that matter. Guy, 35

Rule 19
Never purposely try to make a man jealous. We know what you’re up to and we don’t like it.     Brent, 35

Rule 20
The wearing of granny pants is outlawed – it doesn’t matter what time of the month it is… richard, 29Richard

Rule 21
However, the wearing of high heels (and perhaps just a thong) is allowed at any time. Not in public of course.   Robbie, 29