Aoife Stuart, Deputy Editor
Ahlan Hates»
Paris. saying she’s normal. again.
Having been signed up by Esquire Magazine to share what she’s learned about life
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Victoria “I don’t court fame” Beckham
If you accused Victoria Beckham of being in denial, she would deny it.
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Rumer ‘no help from my parents whatsoever’ Willis
We’re all au fait with the conundrums of the universe, right?
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Nicole being such an actress
First off, kudos to Nicole Kidman, for not, y’know, doing a J-Lo and flogging off her baby pics just to be greedy, and for wanting to protect Sunday Rose from the world’s media because she’s a “little, little thing”
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Mary-Kate ‘Oh this? I just threw it on!’ Olsen
When she’s not moaning about being photographed (“Every time I see a camera, I’m a wreck!”)
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Kristin S-T’s cop out
Plummy Kristin was due to hang out in a women’s prison as research for her new movie role, but has since decided she’s not so much of a ‘method actress’ when faced with the prospect of being banged up with some scary dungaree-wearing criminal types
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Peaches’ marriage
Chandler moment: could she be anymore annoying? miss G has revealed that she didn’t marry her boyfriend of six weeks, Max Drummey thinking it was for keeps.
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Mark’s sense of humourectomy
MARKY MARK suffered a sense of humour failure, last week, when a comedy sketch which parodied his days as Marky Mark, left him fuming.
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Adnan Ghalib… The Slime!
Ahlan!s collective blood is boiling after rumours reached us that Britney’s hideous ex
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Another actress who wants to sing
Scarlett, Miley, Vanessa, Lindsay, Ashley… hell is empty, all the ‘But what I really want to do is sing’-ers are here! And the latest starlet to turn her hand to music is Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester.
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J-Lo’s zero self-awareness
Could J-Lo – the only woman in the world who has ever given birth – annoy us anymore?
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How cool Lily Allen finks she is
Lily Allen, like, finks she’s like, well cool, innit, for doing something… and then, with an oh-I’m-just-sooooo-ironic-and-post-modern sneer, telling the ‘kidz’ to do as she says, not as she does
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J-Lo using the twins as an excuse
Let’s take stock of J-Lo’s life. Actress (of sorts), singer, producer, fashion designer, perfumier, oh and, according to Forbes, she’s the richest person of Latin American descent in Hollywood.
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Future plastic Hollywood
Remember when you were 15? Did you look like one of these factory-manufactured little cupcakes?
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Madonna's self-medicating
Judging by that pic of Madonna, you'll understand when we say, 'If Madge is peddling it, we don't want it!'
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Khloe K acting like she just got back from war
"There was a bomb threat," whispered Khloe Kardashian.
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Angelina’s perfect birth
Planning on starting a family with your hubby anytime soon? Really, don't bother
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Poor Mossy
Self-publicist Kate Moss still desperately trying to cling on to her fame - retire already!
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The whole ‘OMG, she’s being, like, sooooo strong’ post-break-up chat
Gutted of the century must be one Sarah Larson, the former Vegas party girl and reality TV show star, who landed the world's most eligible man
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Will’s ‘not an option’ proclamation
Hot on the heels of his fellow A-lister Liv Tyler and, erm, C(Too generous?)-lister K-Fed, Will Smith has thrown his hat into the ring as far as his opinions on divorce go.
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Gwyneth's 'vices'
Skyscraper heels and frocks so teeny, they're practically culled from the Strawberry Shortcake and Victoria Plum spring/summer collection 2008, Gwynnie P has also been busy endearing herself to the mortal population in order to make herself seem interesting whilst promoting her latest movie, Iron Man.
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Mariah insisting she’s 12 years old
Mimi's wedding was an absolute gem! Hurrah for insane divas who get wed at the drop of a hat to men 13 years their junior after a six-week romance and then claim they've found their "soul mate".
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Cheryl cole’s definition of ‘role model’
Rather than admit that, if she divorces her supposedly cheating footballer hubby Ashley, she would lose her WAG status and all the privileges that come with it, Cheryl Cole is insisting that staying with him makes her a better role model for young girls.
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Ashton ‘too much info’ Kutcher
When celebs are quizzed in interviews about their bad habits, you expect the usual ‘I bite my nails' type non-offensive response, because, let's be honest, we reeeeally don't want to know if our number one Hollywood heartthrob picks his nose with the baton whilst faux-conducting imaginary orchestras in his living room. Whilst wearing Y-fronts.
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How famous Leona Lewis is
Without taking anything away from the UK Pop Idol winner - clearly the chick's got talent - but is it just us, or is she just soooooo boooooring!?
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Kate buying her own wedding ring
Earth to Kate Moss - in the words of that great philosopher, Fergie - "If you ain't got no money, take your broke a** home... G.L.A.M.O.R.O.U.S, we're flying first class, up in the..." Oops, sorry! Got a bit carried away there.
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Kelly’s “Screw The Earth” Stance
Paging Bono, Leonardo and Madonna to kick Kelly Rowland's dumb butt. Hard.
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Minnie Driver’s pretend baby dilemma
You know how Minnie Driver stopped being famous about 10 years ago?
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Teri’s faux feminism
She'll happily turn up to a wedding shower and steal the limelight - which was not mean feat, may we add, at Eva Longoria's pre-wedding bash - and has a rep for being the most demanding of the Desperate Housewives cast, but that isn't stopping Teri Hatcher from trying to convince us that she's really a feminist deep down.
