Dreading the office party?

It's not that you're a scrooge, but the idea of Kevin from tech drooling over you by the water cooler is off-putting enough in the office - let alone having to feel his eyes drilling into your face over a three course turkey dinner with the weirdos from accounts.

We've all been invited to that one party we just can't be bothered to attend. Maybe your aunt's best mate is convinced that the perfect way to spend a night is by inviting everyone over 70 round to swap knitting patterns, while you hand out mince pies in her latest designer reindeer jumper? Perhaps your boss is under the impression that instead of splashing out on a swanky soiree in a top class hotel, a party at his house with a few rounds of pop quiz is a nice reward for all your hard work?

Yup, "can't be bothered" is an understatement, but you're going to have to come up with a better excuse than "I'm washing my hair!"

We asked our Ahlanlive.com readers what excuses they've used in the past. Hmmmm, some are slightly more convincing than others...

"I've been to a 12 hour brunch and can't stand straight enough to accept your invitation for even more alcoholic consumption, but thanks anyway!"

"Used this week. 'Cannay come - as we've been given a free weekend at the Jabal Akhdhar Hotel, Nizwa.'

Anyone been to Nizwa?"

"I had a colleague once that was put in this predicament and his excuse was "I don't believe in the commercialisation of a religious holiday" It worked apparently?"

"Say you had a bad experience earlier in your life and Christmas makes you a little mentally unstable. Then follow up with some off the wall comment like, 'The last time l went to a festive party the key wouldn't fit in the keyhole so l used my finger, but my finger didn't work because it kept burping. In the end l spent the night in trying to cajole a heard of cattle out of their milk because l suffer from excessive nasal hair growth'

Obviously you need to keep a straight face when you say this. Also, it would help if you looked down towards the ground shaking your head when you've finished the comment, as if remembering some horrific experience. Then walk off suddenly.

It certainly beats going to Nizwa for the weekend!!"

"I have nothing to wear and no time to go shopping"

"This one I've found work's with just about everything - date cancellations, funerals, crap family do's etc - Just don't use it too often for obvious 'social stigma side effects' - "'I can't make it - I've got diarrhoea'"

Well, like we said - they're not all exactly believable!

But if you really can't get creative in the face of such mind-numbing activities, we've found this excellent website, which should solve the problem. It generates the perfect excuses - made to order party-dodgers, customized to your individual needs. Check out the Holiday Party Excuse Generator.

You never need to endure such soul-destoying events again! Or... then again, maybe you should just go and suck it up. Would it really kill you to put up with Kevin's "charms" for a few short hours? It is the season of joy after all, and you never know... he might just surprise you. A lot can happen under a pretty sprig of mistletoe...

Got any more excuses for us? Let us know!