Why? Yes, yes, we all know there are genuinely skinny people out there ("You know, I can eat and eat and eat, and I never put on a pound!" Really? How interesting! Tell it to my fist!), but Posh's mother-of-three-I'm-naturally-this-thin posturing really takes the edamame bean - or as we like to call it, really takes Victoria's dinner.

Snapped at the Spice's first ‘live'- ha ha! - performance, Victoria would almost have slipped out of sight behind the microphone, were it not for her leather glove-clad spindly little arms sticking out either side, in a gesture which screamed a panicked, "OMG! I licked my lips, does gloss have calories?!" And then there was the waspie belt, worn, you guessed it, to really cinch that gut in.

Truly, if that is aspirational, we'd rather be, oh, maybe a tone-deaf harpie, whose hubby seeks solace in the arms of other women. Oh...