Why? Gwyneth P’s created www.goop.com, her own lifestyle website, where you (yes, you!), dear lifestyle-less reader, can learn some life lessons from Gwynnie – “Cook a meal for someone you love, clean out your space. Treat yourself to something. Go to a city you’ve never been to. Learn something new.”

Ahlan! translates: “Get the chef to cook, tell the maid to tidy the house, get your millionaire hubby to buy you a diamond, take an expensive holiday (don’t worry about work! Who works anyway?!), be bullied into Kabbalah by Madonna.” Lame.