4 wheels & a flux capacitor

I passed my driving test, fourth time lucky, back when I was 18. A day after I passed, I got caught in the rain on the way to a mate's house and called home crying because I didn't know how to turn the window-wipers on. A week later I crashed into a lamppost in an otherwise empty car park, and shortly after that, the engine started steaming inexplicably as soon as I got out of town, and Dad had to come and get me with a tow truck.

The point here is, ladies, that we don't all know as much about our four-wheeled friends as we probably should. But sometimes it's enough to know that there's someone around, who does. I know as much about cars as Paris Hilton knows about Quantum Physics, but I'm willing to sacrifice a weekend in order to change that. This Friday and Saturday, will you join me at the Motorsport Festival? Oh, go on!

It promises to be the "action packed Motorsport Celebration of the year", and it's certainly got the boys in the office excited. With people like Ferrari, Lamborghini, Corvette, Porsche, Jaguar and even someone called Aston Martin putting in an attendance, it sure does sound interesting...

Something called SPEEDCAR is getting tongues wagging, and I don't think that involves driving round, deciding which space is big enough for your quick-as-a-flash 98-point-turn. Apparently it's Dubai's first ever round of the international V8 stockcar based series, starring some of the world's most experienced and high level Formula One drivers. One assumes Formula One is some kind of energy drink? Sounds like they'll need it.

Other sporty stuff includes the UAE National Races (Saloons, Radical Cup, Super and Stock Motorbikes) and undoubtedly a lot of men in crash helmets.

For some light relief, they've booked some great live bands - Abri, Julian Down, Blue Light Collective and The Maple Jacks are all set for a sing song. And there are car parades and displays to look forward to, as well as a "food village".

If you still don't particularly like cars at the end of it, or you attempt to drive there, only to find it rains suddenly and you can't find the window-wipers, take the free shuttle from Dubai and get your face painted with the kids. Well, at least you can say you tried.

For more info on the Motorsport Festival, 16 and 17 November, log onto www.dubaiautodrome.com