Erin O’Connor
We have to agree with ANGELICA HOUSTON, who told luminously white ERIN, “You’ll never be pretty, but you’ll always be magnificent.” Do you think she’d say the same about perma-tanned Jordan?

2/3

Isla Fisher
Fiery Aussie ISLA, refused to be tamed by T-town’s penchant for blonde hair and tanned skin. Clinging onto her pale looks and red hair has paid off, with a string of hot-blooded, quirky roles.

1/3

Tilda Swinton
Quirky TILDA shuns A-list beauty regimes like spray-tans and make-up. We love that you’re breaking the mould, Til, but a smidge of bronzer would take you from alabaster disaster to English rose.

3/3

Nicole Kidman
“I never go out in the sun. I’ve had one skin cancer on my leg, and I rarely get in the sun,” says sensible NIC. And we thought her ghostly hue was post-traumatic stress from her marriage to TOM.

1/3

Dita Von Teese
DITA’s style is inspired by the 1940s, but her deathly pallor begs the question: Has she actually dug up PEGGY LEE’s corpse for inspiration? But she pulls off the look – with a slick of hot red lippy.

2/3

Courtney Love
She looks like she spends her evenings sucking blood, yet El Vampiro COURT looks surprisingly drained of haemoglobin. Her ghoulish appearance has prompted eating disorder concerns.

3/3

Nicola Roberts
NICOLA admits that she was a slave to the St Tropez bottle for years as she tried to compete with her bronzed Girl’s Aloud bandmates – until she finally surrendered and let her milky pallor shine through.

2/3

Julianne Moore
Famed for her flawless translucent skin and shocking red hair, JULIANNE has penned a children’s book recounting her difficulty growing up as a pasty, freckly red-head. Julianne: 1. Bullies: 0.

3/3

The pale scale

1/3
Pretty in porcelain skin

2/3
So pale you can see her vital organs

3/3
Call the mortician, we’ve got a stiff here