How perfect Knox and Vivienne are!

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Spawned atop Mount Olympus by Zeus and, erm... Helen Of Troy, during a never-seen-before rose petal storm, whilst unicorns shed rainbow tears into the fairy dust breeze, there appeared two children named Knox and Vivienne.

by Gemma White

picture: Getty Images

Why? Spawned atop Mount Olympus by Zeus and, erm... Helen Of Troy, during a never-seen-before rose petal storm, whilst unicorns shed rainbow tears into the fairy dust breeze, there appeared two children named KNOX and VIVIENNE. And they were so perfect that men burned out their eyes after one look, for fear of never again looking upon such beauty...

Back on earth, K and V are already exhibiting characteristics never before seen in four-week-old babies. Well, mortal babies, anyway.

"Viv is proving to resemble Ange in spirit, attitude and physicality..." cooed BRAD. "And Knox, he's a bit of me."

How? Exactly how is Viv resembling ANGE in spirit, attitude and physicality? Does she already have three ex-husbands and has stolen Zahara's boyfriend? Stop talking cobblers, Bradley!

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