Jessica Alba: box office poison?

New comedy The Love Guru had all the right ingredients for a hit. Starring funnyman Mike Myers and featuring JT, it looked like a surefire smash. So why, then, did it earn just Dhs51 million on its opening weekend, reaching the fourth spot in the US? Well, unfortunately, it stars Jess Alba, whose last 10 movies - including The Eye, Good Luck Chuck and Into the Blue - have all bombed. Ahlan! wonders why Jess is a movie's kiss of death...

Just plain dull

Wrong parts?
Could it be that - in the words of Kath Heigl - she was just not given good material? Tellingly, Jess isn't short of quality scripts. The Fantastic Four (left) was written, by Don Payne, one of the geniuses behind The Simpsons, yet his witty quips fell flat when delivered by Jess's deadpan, monotonous voice - scooping her a Worst Actress Razzie nomination.

Typecast

Body hang-ups
In 2005's Into The Blue, she spent the film in a bikini. It's a type-casting that's haunted her career. Being objectified on-screen only perpetuates Jessica's deep-seated body issues. Anorexic as a child, she's clearly still hung-up on her figure and it translates into tense, stiff acting.

A bad lead

Solo no-go
Hidden until now behind bright co-stars, Jess had a shot at carrying a movie in this year's The Eye. Her attempt at serious, however was slated, with one critic saying, "She couldn't act her way out of a paper bag." Not that she cares what the experts say. "If the movie makes money, I'm fine," she boasts.

Know-it-all

Can't take direction
Unfortunately for the skilled directors Jess has worked under, it's near impossible to coax emotion from her. The reason? She doesn't like being told what to do. "I have had a problem with authority since school," she says. It's fine to revolt in the playground, Jess, but maybe if you paid attention to your directors, you might have a hit on your hands.