K-Fed’s contract*

...but we dare you not to permit yourself a chortle at the news that K-Fed's been the recipient of one.

Yep, that's right, Kevin Federline. Not George Bush, not Gordon Brown, not even Bono, but perennial wannabe, Kev.

Conflicting reports have emerged from the US that a contract hit was put out on Kevin - which makes us assume that baggy pants and permanent cigarettes annoy people waaay more than we suspected - that necessitated an LAPD investigation.

"The department opened an investigation into a threat on Federline's life... but the case was closed due to insufficient evidence," said a source. But the FBI are refuting the allegations, because, well, they're the FBI, they have to deny everything - it's their job.

But who could possibly want K-Fed dead? Britney, what do you think...?

*Not a record one, though.