So, quick recount. We've had Paris Vs Nicole; Paris Vs Lindsay and Paris Vs Sophie Monk (she's not famous enough to be a one-namer)... Have we had Paris Vs The Pope? ("He's got like, waaaay cuter red shoes than me! I like, totally, like, hate him, right!") Well not yet, but set your internal bell for ding, ding, ding, because for round 3,672, we have Paris Vs The Kardashians! The heiress is said to be absolutely livid with her ex-BFF Kim - and her sisters Kourtney and Khloe - for hoovering up all the intellectual jobs in T-town that Paris used to be the go-to girl for.

And where once, Paris could click her fingers and command upwards of Dhs300,000 for her nightclub appearances and attendances at envelope openings, the Hollywood glitterati are now widening and, er, heightening (if that's a word?) their front doors, in order to crowbar Kim's butt and Khloe's mega-proportions in instead!

Oh well, Paris. You've had a good run, great innings and all that, but really it was only a matter of time before the owner of Club Vacuous (or something) turned to his PR and said, "That blonde chick who flashes her bits to the paps and did that sex tape with Shannon Doherty's ex, she's so over. Get me that chick whose sister went to jail for a DUI, the one who made the sex tape with Whitney Houston's ex. She's much classier..."