Let’s get things straight, mortals. MEGAN FOX is like, waaaaay sexier than anyone else on the planet! And she’s also just like, soooo confident with her sexuality and totally would never date a guy her own age. She’s far too mature for those kids.

In fact, the only way us non-celebs can feel superior to Megs can be summed up in three words.

Brian. Austin. Green.

We reveal the seven reasons Ms Fox thinks she’s the absolute bomb.

She’s sooo skinny!
“Well, I do have a 22-inch waist, I will say that,” Megan threw into the conversation during a Golden Globes interview. And how did you get that waist, Meggy? “An immense amount of pilates.” Sure you did...

She’s far sexier than you
“I’m just really confident sexually, and I think that sort of oozes out of my pores,” boasts the boringly full-of-herself Megan. “It’s just there. It’s something I don’t have to turn on.”

She’s totally mature
“I’ve lived the life of a 35-year-old since I was 18,” says the 22-year-old, who recently slated Zac and R-Patz as “a joke”. “I’m so suspicious of boys-slash-men. I just don’t like them or trust them.”

She ‘tries’ to put on weight
“So, I always try to put on eight to 10lbs (3.6-4.5kgs) before [filming], and I’m always the fattest I’ve ever been when making a Transformers movie.” Nope, that’s not at all annoying to hear.

She’s still a delicate child-woman
“[I’m] at a really vulnerable point in my life... I don’t know how I feel or think about anything right now, and I feel like I’m under a microscope,” gushed Megan to Esquire. Do we detect a ‘diddums’ alert?

She won’t be told what to do!
“I’m not kidding when I say that if I ever lose a role because of my tattoos, I’ll quit Hollywood and go to work at Costco,” claims the actress. We’re calling BS on that, hon.

She’s such a rebel
“Every time I get a tattoo, it’s a little f*** you to anyone who tells me not to,” insists Megan, who boasts nine tatts. “It’s weird to be part of Hollywood, which tries to control every aspect of people, from what they say to the colour of their hair.”