Why? You’re flicking through your copy of MILEY CYRUS’s life story, Miles To Go, and you get to the page where the 16-year-old is frolicking with NICK JONAS in a swimming pool filled with $100 bills, whilst a minion takes delivery of a gold-plated Rolls Royce (or something), and you ask yourself, “Why am I reading this?!”

The answer? “People are like, ‘You’re 16, why would you write your life story?’” says Miley. “But in the business I’m in, I have lived a life that some people who are in their sixties haven’t lived.”

And juuuust when the fork to jam into your eyeball is just inches away... “I’ve gone through a lot and seen a lot.”

Taxi to the eye hospital, please...